i wish i was superbad

Fogell: Gangstaaaaaaaaaaasss... what's up guys?

fyi, the athletic supporter is going to post blogs monday/wednesday/friday starting next week. my current day-time employer does not let my brain breathe so i could use some extra time to gather my thoughts. like in other aspects of life, it's all about quality, not quantity. well, i guess in some aspects of life more than others. anywhoooo..

quick story that took place in the ghettos of cresskill where ur life would be in jeopardy if wore anything red. few friends got together with one mission: make a fool of da'skill's version of the sherminator. let's call him... "fireman bob". bob talked a lot of stupid smack and nonsense. sad part is, he was tested and declared clinically dumb by the state's board of ed. in h.s., he actually took exams in the rainbow room w other special students. i dont make fun of mentally challenged people, but bob was retarded in more ways than one. he was quite the annoyance. he spoke about how trashed he'd get and how he'd hook up with girls from nearby towns. we knew it was all crap. so my buddies and i invited him over for some drinks so he could tell us his nitelife stories and try to make us feel inept. right away, bob started to put us to shame and chug down beers, and tell wild stories. of course, we sarcastically cheered him on. a few more beers in, he began to say how f'd up he's getting and ish. his body was wavering and speech slurred. we werent sure if he was slurring bc of alcohol since his speech is always slurred. anyways, we were on the outdoor deck. all of a sudden, bob says he's starting to feel sick and bent over the railing. nothing came out, but he did a lot of dry heaving (speaking of dry heave, look it up on urbandictionary.com the sentence example is funny). he proclaimed himself drunk and feeling dizzy/sick. but how could he be so crunk so soon? bob is supposed to be a terror at local parties and with the ladies, no? but more importantly, how could bob get so drunk and sick off drinking a few cans of o'douls? yes, we gave him o'douls and he acted drizzunk. what a massive tool. him and carson daly have a lot in common.

hottie.. check. budonkadonk.. check. captivating voice.. check. congrats to alicia keys. she went 3x platinum already for her latest album. other artists should take note. recurring theme, it's not about quantity.. it's quality. don't be a ja rule, and do 55 collabos while dropping 3 albums in a 12 month span. take time to master ur craft azz clowns. it's not a race.

race. dave chappelle has a funny bit about racing.. in bed. dave says, sex like in all sports and olympic events.. the person who finishes first, wins.

Evan: Yeah chicks go nuts for that... the male camel toe.
Seth: Yea yea! The camel tail.
Evan: It's like a division sign.

at my last interview, the guy asked if i had any questions about the job description and about everyday duties. i giggled quite a bit on the inside and cracked a smirk bc he said "duty". i am a grown man who giggles at words like duty, box, and any number combination that includes 69.

saw a fobby japanese comedian perform last year. he said when he came to the u.s... he was fascinated with some of the slang terms like 69. he understood what the symbol stood for.. if it were for white, black, or latin people. but for asians, he said 11 better fits the act.
he also translated words literally.. like m'fer. guess it could be confusing. once meeting his friends parents.. his friend's mom intro'd herself, then the jap comedian turned to the dad and said, "and u must be the m'fer".

Mark: What is that?
Seth: It's detergent.
Mark: What the f are you doing with it?
Seth: F'in blood on my pants.

not a big fan of mtv, but there is one funny commercial on it. this "dude" is sitting down lacing up his roller blades. and he says "the hardest part of roller blading is telling ur parents ur gay"

most versatile comebacks:
"yea, ur face is _____"
"that's what she said"

fun sfw stuff:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzjLlqIuVhI&feature=related
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22910820/?GT1=10755

Biggest baseball news recently is definitely not Johan Santana. It's this:
"Transaction of the Week Golden Baseball League:
CALGARY VIPERS -- Agreed to terms with OF Jorge Poo Tang."

Becca: Your c?ck is so smooth!
Evan: Your's would be too... if you were a man.

the best part of the Super Bowl is def not the game itself, and it's not the tv commercials. it's participating in super bowl boxes. a spreadsheet CAN actually be fun. haha box. and of course eating like a pig and consuming alcoholic beverages is good times too.

i could watch ray allen shoot jumpers all day. yes, i love him and i want to marry him.

as mentioned in Kitchen Confidential, people who don't eat pork bc pigs are dirty animals should stop eating chicken too then. chickens aren't the most sanitary animals. they urine and ish in their cages, and then they eat their own ish too. chickens are kept in some slave-like conditions. and what's that thing called...... oh yea, salmonella.

"Face it y'all nggas face down with your legs kicking/
They call your momma Roy Jones cause she raise chicken/
You're "Down for the Count" like Rah Digga I'm straight spittin/
Make pigeons say, "Uh uh, no they didn't!"

Evan: Same-sies.

p.diddy single handedly ruined hip hop. "can't stop, won't stop, bad boy for life"
that motto is almost as stupid as "all day everyday, dipset! killa!"

allow me to eat my words, i am indeed a big fan of one mtv program. mtv's "made" with colin, i want to be a rapper. http://www.mtv.com/overdrive/?id=1579178&vid=201703

whatever happened to rawkus records? they were a powerhouse in.... '96.

i want to do the lemon detox.. u know the same one beyonce made famous. hippies do it too. it's suppposed to be really good for u. 10 days w.o food tho. tough. the dunkin donuts lady's feelings would be hurt if i didnt stop in every morning for my reduced fat blueberry muffin and the quiznos guy's feelings would be hurt if he didn't see me every day at 12:25pm.

i would never make it in federal prison. on my first nite of prison, i would be the crier they bet on like in the movie shawshank redemption. ngc's "lockdown" series has me scurred shook straight. the only other thing on tv that scurrs me is any time there is a clip of suge knight.

THUG LIFE - the hate u give little infants f's everbody
M.O.B - money over btches

"women are the devil" - mike rowlands

kansas state university freshman michael beasley is a stud. he predicts ksu will beat their state nemesis kansas univ both times this season. going into last nite's game.. ksu was 14-4 and ku was 20-0. ku also happened to be the #2 team in the nation. ksu upset ku 84-75. beasley had 25 and 6... and easily the best freshman player this year, and probably since carmelo.. and mike coburn.

can someone get jason kidd a lil cheese with his whine? i hope the nets trade his fggot azz. i will take a bag of skittles for him at this point. i am done defending this alleged wife beater. get the f off the nets already. every year he wants to be traded around this part of the season. clubhouse cancer needs to get sent packing. think he mad cuz his son is ugly.

my friends and i are huge advocates. it's a work in progress, and has been for the past couple of years... we WILL bring the high-five bizzack. can't stop, won't stop.

finally, i have no problem admitting the fact that i have zero game with ladies.
might as well replace "Seth:" with "Moon:" in the following quote...
Seth: You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so sht-faced last night, I shouldn't have f'd that guy?' We could be that mistake!